* David questions the everyday word - stingy.
A five second internet check gave the common and expected definition = mean. miserley.
* David takes issue with a tree looking like a person. (Mr Griffin.) I think that shows a huge lack of imagination, especially as the comment is from a child's viewpoint. The drawings of Arthur Rackham spring to mind.
* He wants to know who Mr Griffin is, (he spells the name - Griffen.) It is unimportant to the scene who he is. He is obviously just someone the children don't like. He could be a neighbour, a teacher etc
* He points out that I have mixed up past present tense.
Fair comment and I have corrected this in the original manuscript.
* Spelling of 'faulter' instead of; falter to a halt.
Good spot & it has been corrected.
But he then remarks that the children weren't moving anyway - when it is obvious that 'falter to a halt' refers to their singing.
However, I have added clarification to save future reader's confusion.
* He finishes - "And let us get to know your characters more."
A script analysis from highly respected Industrial Scripts repeats several times that the characterisation of the children is a strong point of the script.
Posted December 2, 2014, 1:09 pm by John Read
Author Response To Review By David Price.
* David questions the everyday word - stingy.
A five second internet check gave the common and expected definition = mean. miserley.
* David takes issue with a tree looking like a person. (Mr Griffin.) I think that shows a huge lack of imagination, especially as the comment is from a child's viewpoint. The drawings of Arthur Rackham spring to mind.
* He wants to know who Mr Griffin is, (he spells the name - Griffen.) It is unimportant to the scene who he is. He is obviously just someone the children don't like. He could be a neighbour, a teacher etc
* He points out that I have mixed up past present tense.
Fair comment and I have corrected this in the original manuscript.
* Spelling of 'faulter' instead of; falter to a halt.
Good spot & it has been corrected.
But he then remarks that the children weren't moving anyway - when it is obvious that 'falter to a halt' refers to their singing.
However, I have added clarification to save future reader's confusion.
* He finishes - "And let us get to know your characters more."
A script analysis from highly respected Industrial Scripts repeats several times that the characterisation of the children is a strong point of the script.
"Three memorable and well sketched protagonists."